Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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