i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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