Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
