worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
