and you said cock pushups were impossible
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
