you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
