similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Randomize
