I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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