I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
