im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
smell my finger.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
