direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My ass is underappreciated
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
