Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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