I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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