I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
