I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I see more hoeing in ur future
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