you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
