Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
