Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
