hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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