I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
