Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
