i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
