I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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