She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
