He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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