I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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