if you like me you must not know who I am
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Still dying that you shit outside
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
