i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
