how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
