Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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