i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
