they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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