My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
