JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
