ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
