How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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