My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
