You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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