1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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