I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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