Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
