so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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