Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
