That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
