I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
