I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
