my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
