I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
