my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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