i just google imaged poop.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My life is pants optional.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
