Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
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