Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You smell like stripper and shame
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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