that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
